December 29, 2020 – SiriusXM is set to B.B. King’s Bluesville. I’m driving east on Neshoba Road, headed to the Germantown Community Library to return several books. The volume’s slightly low, so I’m not really listening. I’m a bit distracted. As I stop at the traffic light on Germantown Parkway, I catch part of the lyrics to We Deserve a Happy Ending by The Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band. We Deserve...is basically a love song (in spite of the odd music video), but the song’s title sums up exactly my sentiments about 2020 and – most importantly – about my family.
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| Men at work. |
A Nice, Simple Christmas
As I said a few moments ago, I was a bit distracted driving to the library. An hour earlier, Zach, our son, hit the road to return to his apartment in Midtown Atlanta. He’s lived and worked in Atlanta for the last three years. It was an emotional goodbye. Zach had been with us for almost eleven days – the most we’ve been together as a family since before Zach graduated from Georgia Tech (2018).
So Christmas 2020 was nice and simple. The four of us were content to hangout
at home and do nothing. We read a lot, played board games, occasionally watched
football, and baked goodies.
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| Lazy days together.
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We were in our own little world, and I love it. Pandemic or not, I love the time we spent together as a family unit. It reinforced how special our being together truly is and how fortunate we are.
‘Tis the Season
The holidays always bring out a little melancholy in me, but this year was different. Maybe it was having both Emily and Zach at home for an extended period of time. Maybe it was the realization that every holiday season the four of us spend together is a gift and I should cherish it. Maybe it’s also the reality that as our kids get older, eventually, our time spent together will change or diminish. Who knows?
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| ‘Tis the Season
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What I do know is that I wouldn’t trade spending the past several weeks – going back to Thanksgiving – with Vicki and the kids for anything.
You can have your Caribbean cruises, your Disney World excursions, your time at the beach, et al. I’ll take my family time…all the time. My family deserves everything I can give them…and time is the one thing I can still give them. I wish I could give them more of it.
We Deserve a Happy Ending
Everyone deserves a happy ending after everything we’ve endured in 2020. Vicki and the kids are no exception. Frankly, dealing with cancer is tiresome – physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s draining. It’s draining for everyone involved, especially family and loved ones.
We’ve been through a lot, and 2020 presented us with new challenges and new worries (see
The Verdict Is In). I simply want a
happy ending for Vicki, Emily, and Zach.
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| Quiet…a bit eerie. |
That’s my Christmas Wish.
Health Update: Immunotherapy Blues
It’s 7:15 Christmas Eve morning. I’m waiting on the third floor of the West Cancer Center for my lab work. My three-week infusion schedule landed on December 24th. It’s quiet in here. Empty. Kind of eerie. I’ve never seen it so empty.
But I’m not alone. Emily is here with me. I’m thankful for that.
This is my fifth infusion of Keytruda. While my December 3rd lab results showed that my internal organs are tolerating this immunotherapy treatment (see ‘Some Pretty Good News‘), the side effects are getting the better of me.
Fatigue, tiredness, sore and weary muscles, aches and pains, constant itchiness, and neuropathy in my hands and joints. Not fun. Not fun at all. Like I mentioned a moment ago, having cancer is a drain – not only on the patient, but on those around him.
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| Ready for 2020 to end. |
But if it keeps me going…allows me to spend more time with my family…then I’ll put up with it.
Maybe someday I’ll have a happy ending.
Happy New Year to everyone. Thanks, as always, for listening.
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April 25, 2020 – Here’s the third installment in my pictorial journey through self-imposed home quarantine. As I said in my first post (see
Part One), I want to keep this light with some humor thrown in. However, as the pandemic wears on, my mood has become much darker. I sincerely want everyone to smile – heck, I want to smile, too – but I’m having a hard time doing so right now.
‘Like Walking in Wet Sand’
It’s been another month of the same old, same old. I saw this quote somewhere on the internet and thought it was appropriate. One day just seems to roll into another. We’re all just trudging along.
It’s the Little Things in Life
Pretty flowers, a cold beer, a good book…it’s the little things that I look forward to nowadays. Yet, I can’t seem to remain happy, or satisfied. I constantly worry about everything and everyone. There’s a definite “lack of control” that for people like me is unsettling and unacceptable. I’m beginning to understand how isolationists feel…stressed, paranoid, not able or willing to think clearly.
The Great Escape
As I first posted on Facebook on April 14th, after more than two weeks at home, I broke quarantine and toured Memphis from the safety of my car. While far from a ghost town, I was taken aback by the empty feel of the city – especially in downtown and Midtown. At the same time, I was surprised by the number of construction workers, city work crews, etc. hard at work like any normal day. Most, if not all of them, had no face coverings at all.
You Gotta Have Faith
My relationship with the Almighty is a tenuous one to say the least. This situation has neither strengthened or diminished that relationship. I honestly don’t understand people of faith who turn their backs on fellow human beings all in the name of politics or a particular way of thinking. I sincerely hoped that our country would figure out some things, maybe even come together. That lasted for about two or three weeks. Now, it’s everyone for themselves and to hell with others.
Easter was particularly troubling. Frankly, I’m not sure what I believe any more. But to paraphrase the late George Michael…You gotta have faith, faith, faith.
Note: As I mentioned in Part Two, I’ll have a longer discussion about people and religion. That will be in Part Four.
Old School Becomes New School
It’s funny how because of work-at-home and safer at home measures – self-quarantining included – old things have become rediscovered, even in our digital age. Pictures of people playing board games, trivia night via Skype or Zoom…people walking, jogging, and bike riding. I’ve seen and met more neighbors in the past two months than have in the past two years.
Folks hanging out on their porches and listening to music. Even sidewalk art has become a cheap, easy time-filler. Reading, even through digital means, has become a popular pastime, once again.
A Green Thumb and Brown Knees
Gardening, too, became a more popular pastime. It’s late April, so around here that means it’s time to work outside in the garden. I finally got out of the house – with the help of my daughter, Emily – to buy plants and such at a local nursery. It was good to be around plants, once again. Zoe even went along for the ride.
Manna From Heaven
After a full day of yard work and gardening, I was exhausted and starving. Meals, like Vicki’s famous spaghetti sauce (as seen on the right) made it all worthwhile. In fact, cooking and eating have become central characters in this weird pandemic teleplay we find ourselves in.
Meals are a combination of our tried and true favorites, or new recipes found online…as long as we can have the right ingredients. In some cases, our meals are simply improvised with whatever’s on hand. Nothing wrong with that and no complaints from me.
Every time Vicki (or, Emily) goes grocery shopping it’s like Christmas when she returns. Oooh, what did we get? Oh, toilet paper! I love it! Did you get any candy? It’s amazing what being holed-up for almost two months does to your expectations.
Advocacy Work Continues
My latest article for Skincancer.net was posted on April 23rd. (Recurring Vigilance) Since that time, it’s been difficult if not impossible for me to write on a consistent (and focused) basis. That’s one reason this post is more than a month after its date.
Hopefully I’ll soon get back on-track.
For now, thanks and stay safe.
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Writer’s Note – I’ll continue to update my blog on a periodic basis. No set schedule. So, I want to thank everyone who continues to stop by and check out my blog. Please leave a comment or message; I’d love to hear from you.
March 24, 2020 – Here’s the second in my pictorial journey through self-imposed home quarantine. As I stated the last time (see Part One), I’ll try to keep it light and try my best – no guarantees – to keep out the politics and frustration (a hard one at this point). We all need to smile a little more, right now.
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Aero Garden in the kitchen. We
should have grown veggies
instead of petunias.
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Pandemic Hits Home
Thursday, March 19th, Vicki comes in the back door and puts her things down in the dining room. She has an odd look on her face. It’s lunch time, so both Emily and I are sitting at the table in our breakfast nook. I ask her if everything’s okay…she proceeds to tell us that a coworker – who is new to her department – just got a call that her adult son was sent home from work because he has a cough and was running a fever. Suddenly, coronavirus gets even more real for our family.
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| Really? Sleep in here?
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Upstairs/Downstairs
We disinfect everything – and I mean everything. Vicki moves all of her day-to-day things into the dining room. We use clean dish towels to touch door handles and sink faucets. Emily and I continue to eat in the kitchen area while Vicki stays mostly in the dining room and the (rarely used) living room. Emily and I commandeer the den.
I sleep in the mother-in-law’s quarters downstairs. Zoe, of course, sleeps downstairs with me, but she doesn’t like it. Life is now very surreal. We have a much better appreciation of how people on the front lines of the pandemic deal with everyday life.
Weather, Weather, Weather
As I said in Part One, the weather in Memphis has been crappy – and that’s putting it nicely. Warm and rainy one day, cold and rainy the next. It makes a weird, depressing situation even more miserable. You can’t go outside, and it’s so dreary that every day looks like nightfall. Ugh.
God Paid the Utility Bill
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| Finally…sunshine!
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Finally…sunshine! Saturday (March 21st) was a glorious day. The sun was out almost the entire day. The neighbors were out, too, which was a mixed blessing. I’m not sure everyone is on board with social distancing. In particular, one set of neighbors are all crammed together in the front yard yucking it up and playing a form of tennis on the driveway. I watch from my front porch as one player hands a racquet to another neighbor (not a family member, by the way), who proceeds to get in the game. Yeah, I’m really not sure that everyone – even when one of those neighbors has cancer – understands how serious this situation has become.
One other note – We were invited (via text) to come over and hang out with these same neighbors. Vicki replied – also via text – that we may been exposed and needed to self-isolate. Did she get a response? Has she gotten any kind of response to this day? Nah. Piece of advice – If someone who’s married to a Stage IV cancer patient says that she may have been exposed to a deadly virus, and, therefore, we need to stay away from each other and everyone else, shouldn’t you do the courteous, caring thing and – at the very least – respond? People. I’ll address this, especially “religious” folk, in my next installment.
Zombie Apocalypse
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Apple Store in Germantown. Four
o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. |
After about two weeks of being at home, I decided that Sunday to get cleaned up, put on some real clothes, and drive around Germantown. Vicki and Emily had told me about the store closures and empty grocery shelves, but I wanted to see – from the safety of my car – what this pandemic looks like. It was – as I told Vicki when I got home – like a zombie apocalypse. No one’s out. Very few people driving around. Shopping center parking lots empty – on a Sunday afternoon! Wow.
Thanks, as always, for listening…and be safe and, if you can, stay home!
Note: If you want to leave a comment, just choose “Anonymous” from the Profile Selection drop down bar right below the Comment box. (It’s the very last choice.) Sorry for any confusion.
Also, please make sure you leave your name or sign-in somewhere in your comment. Thanks.
Writer’s Note – I’ll continue to update my blog on a periodic basis. No set schedule. So, I want to thank everyone who continues to stop by and check out my blog. Please leave a comment or message; I’d love to hear from you.
