Week Five

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Today (September 24th) is the end of week five since I began treatment for my cancer.  Not much new to report.  As I stated in last week’s post, I have been feeling pretty good for the past week and a half, and the doctors are pleased that I have not had any significant side effects from the Gleevec (also known as Imatinib).  Also, October 9th is the date of my next CT scan.  What we hope to see is that the two tumors in my right lung will be the same size (or, if larger, not by very much).  The doctors have said that any shrinkage or reduction would likely occur after 3 or 4 months on this drug.
“Only thing…to fear is fear itself.”
So why am I blue, or better yet, just somewhat sad?  A week or so ago, I was in a very good place – emotionally – and I felt like I had turned that proverbial corner in regards to my journey.  Yet, there continues to be that darkness or sadness hanging onto my being.  It comes and it goes, much like the wind passing through the leaves in the tree outside my window.  Those leaves will begin to turn brown as fall approaches.  Soon they will tumble to the ground as days grow darker and colder.  Yet I will endure, hunkered down in my house…Nixie, as always, close by my side.
Perhaps it’s the anticipation of the unknown.  Not certain what the next leg of my journey will be or where it will take me.  Perhaps it’s being home all day.  I know, many of us would love the opportunity to be home for a while…to get those chores and projects finished that we always seem to put off.  And while I’ve been productive – to some extent – around our home, I want to be part of something once again.  I want to feel like I’m contributing and, to be blunt, making some money.  Being out of work is tough enough, but to be unemployed and sick is a real bummer!
This is one of those low points in the road that I call my journey.  It will take time to pull myself back up, and, hopefully, good news on October 9th will lift my spirits.

Thanks for listening…