Mom’s Gone

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Writer’s Note – I’ve been on an extended hiatus for well over six months.  So, I first want to say “Thank You” to all of you who continue to stop by and check out my blog.  This blog and several to follow have been accumulating in my head for quite a while.

December 31, 2014 – My mom died just after midnight today.  We knew the end was coming for the past several days.  Her breathing had become highly erratic and she was unable to eat any solid food.  The nursing home had prepared my dad as best they could; moving my mom into a separate room, providing a bed for my dad to sleep in, making sure “other” distractions were handled so he could focus on spending time with her.

Her journey is now over.  Dementia and Alzheimer’s not only took her life but made her last several years on this planet a living hell.  In fact, those terrible diseases made my dad’s life an absolute hell on earth.  The love of his life was reduced to a shell of a human being and then, just as quickly, her flame flickered out.  It was ironic that we had just visited Mom in mid-November while my dad dealt with getting a pacemaker.  She actually looked really good, or as good as one can be in her circumstances.  A month later, however, her body began to give out just like her mind had done a year or so earlier.

It was heartbreaking to watch my dad attempt to care for my mom before she went into the nursing home and afterwards.  He would talk with her, feed her, take her outside for some fresh air, and try to get her to realize that I was there for a visit.  She just had no idea what was going on around her.  So very sad.  It’s just not a life worth living, which may sound cruel, but it’s the absolute truth.  Without a mind, we really are nothing.


January 9, 2015 – Mom’s service was today.  A day that cannot be characterized as “bittersweet,” but as painful as the death of a loved one can be, tragically, my mom has been “gone” for a very long time. So, in a sense, her passing brought some relief that her suffering – along with my father’s – was over.  Seeing those pictures and accolades brought back a host of memories – some good and some bad – of our family’s life.  As much as I tried to console my father, I knew – as callous as it sounds – that his world would eventually be better.  Today’s visitation was both solemn and low-key.  It was nice to meet some of her old  teaching colleagues and several of her former students.  That was a nice testament to her legacy as a teacher.  No grandiose statements were made or eulogies given.  It seemed odd at first, but I think it fit with the mood.  Glenda has been “gone” for several years now…there really isn’t anything else to say.