Happy Anniversary, Vicki!

Oh, so young!

October 21, 2018 – Happy Anniversary to my beautiful wife, Vicki! She is my heart and soul. She is my best friend and partner in crime. She is everything to me, and – I hope – I’m everything to her. Without Vicki, there would be no melanoma journey. She is my strength and my resilience. I cannot begin to put into words the love I feel for her. In fact, I’d say words couldn’t describe our love. It just is.

So, twenty-nine years later, we celebrated our anniversary with a quick out-of-town trip to Florence, Alabama. (Which I documented on Facebook.) Then Sunday night – October 21st – we had a low-key day with a delicious dinner out that evening.

I’m fortunate not only to have a wonderful spouse but to be able to continue to celebrate anniversaries (along with birthdays and holidays) with her and our family.

I love you!

Note: This wedding picture is one of our favorites. It sits in the front entryway of our home. It was kind of an impromptu pic and turned out so well. I still can’t believe how young we both looked in our twenties.

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Another Word About Melanoma

October 1, 2018 – Today I completed an online course through the Melanoma Research Foundation (MRF) to become a Certified Melanoma Educator. Completion of this course allows me to counsel melanoma patients and educate the public about this deadly disease. The Melanoma Research Foundation is the organization that I raise money for each year in August for the Miles For Melanoma 5K here in Memphis. (See I Am Not Alone.)

The MRF is one of three (3) organizations that I am involved with – along with online support groups on Facebook. The other two organizations are: AIM at Melanoma and The Skin Cancer Foundation. While each group has a different mission, they all share the same ultimate goal – finding a cure for melanoma and all skin cancers.

As I reviewed the online material for my certification course, I came upon a piece of information that completely “hit home” in terms of my melanoma journey and the confusion my condition sometimes causes. Here’s a section from the MRF website:

It is important to note that regardless of where melanoma spreads, or metastasizes, it is still considered melanoma. For example, if melanoma spreads to the lung, it is not considered lung cancer. Instead, it should be referred to as metastatic melanoma or melanoma that has spread to the lung.

Just last month I ran into a former teaching colleague whom I had not seen in ten (10) years. When I said I have cancer, I swear I think her reaction was not simply disbelief but skepticism. It makes me think I should carry cards with my oncologist’s phone number and/or email address. Oh, well.

Thanks for listening, as always.

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“Adult Stuff”

May 23, 2018 – I’m calling my son, Zach, while standing outside the main entrance to the West Cancer Center’s primary location. I had just finished a scheduled CT scan when he texted me with great news – he got a job offer! Our conversation went something like this:

Yep, we now had to do “adult stuff.” As a parent, you look forward to the day your child begins his own career and moves another step towards adulthood. (Obviously all parents want their children to be truly self-sufficient. It’s still nice, however, to be wanted or needed.) For any young person who just graduated college (see Congratulations, Zach!), the adult world may appear as intimidating as when they first stepped onto a university campus.

It’s certainly understandable. “Old folks,” like myself, tend to forget about all the trials and errors, missteps, and miscues navigating the adult world. We’ve learned – hopefully – from our mistakes. Nothing, at first, seems easy. Then you begin to find yourself and your place in the world, and, before too long, you’ve become a “grown-up.” Or, for many of us – again, myself included – you play the part of an adult even though you’ve never truly grown up.

Making a new place into your own home.

We spent the next three weeks helping Zach move back to Atlanta and get situated into a new apartment. It was as exhausting and, at times, frustrating for us as it was for him. The “young adult world” has significantly changed since I was in my twenties. It was a learning experience for all of us.

As parents, we know that Zach has the confidence and common sense to make good “adult” decisions. We just hope he continues to lean on us when those inevitable “bumps in the road” occur. (It’s still nice to be needed every so often.)

Now comes the next phase in Zach’s journey to adulthood.    

Nixie

May 19, 2018 – It’s been four weeks since we lost Nixie, and I’m still terribly sad. I miss our four-legged daughter so much. My heart still aches. The bond the two of us formed was just like a parent and child. Nixie was indeed a member of our family and her entire two-legged family is heartbroken. 

I don’t want to replay the circumstances of Nixie’s death – it’s still too gut-wrenching – but she died suddenly, and, unfortunately, not peacefully. The vets confirmed that Nix had cancer in one area, but apparently the cancer had already spread to other parts of her body. Her diagnosis and death all happened so quickly that we were in shock for the next several weeks.

I’ve mentioned Nixie in several prior posts (see Someone to Watch Over Me), and anyone who follows me on Facebook knows that I frequently post pictures of Nixie. She was a six- to eight-month-old rescue from the West Tennessee Border Collie Rescue Group  who came into our home a little over ten years ago. When Nixie entered our lives, Vicki had lost her father and the year before we lost our first dog, Bailey. It was a difficult time for us back then, and Vicki referred to Nix as her “therapy dog.”

She brightened our world, and we’re glad we gave Nixie a home full of love. Emily and Zach grew up with Nixie, and Zach was the one who taught her to 
leap up and catch Frisbees. (She was very good at it.) I feel sad that neither 
Emily or Zach got to say goodbye to Nixie.

Losing Nix still hurts, but my anger has subsided (somewhat). I don’t want to feel sorry for myself and my family, but we have endured so much stress and strain the past few years that it’s just depressing.

I will miss my “shadow.” 

And so the journey continues….

  

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Writer’s Note – I’ll continue to update my blog on a periodic basis.  No set schedule.  So, I want to thank everyone who continues to stop by and check out my blog. Please leave a comment or message; I’d love to hear from you.