August 28, 2020 – Earlier today, Facebook alerted me to a memory from 2017. I’d almost forgotten about the post until today’s notice. What I haven’t forgotten, unfortunately, was the crappy comment that came from a former high school classmate.
Note: Yes, on Facebook yesterday, I mentioned the fluke that this 2017 memory popped up right after Hurricane Laura came ashore in Louisiana.
2017 – A Little Background
On August 28, 2017,
Hurricane Harvey, after slamming into the Texas coast, drenched the
Houston area for several days, causing major flooding. Vicki and I have close friends who live in that area. We were on vacation in Snowmass, Colorado. Obviously concerned about friends and
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After Hurricane Harvey hit Houston, Texas. |
extended family, I posted our thoughts on my Facebook feed.
I received the typical Facebook feedback (see below) – Likes, Loves, and a couple of shares.
One person, however, had to rain on my goodwill. I realize it’s a minor thing – especially with everything going on right now in our world – yet, three years later, the comment angers me.
And saddens me.
People, Nowadays
Let’s start with today’s internet, a digital
Pandora’s Box that has destroyed civility as we know it. Or, what was known as being polite, courteous, and considerate.
Nowadays, almost no one thinks before typing a comment or responding to an online post. Who cares about being snarky? Hateful? Insensitive?
It’s my opinion and I’m going to express it, regardless of the ramifications. Or, the hurt I cause.
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Never did hear back. |
The Comment
At first glance, the commenter appears to appreciate my concern and that I expressed my concern. It’s the final sentence (underlined in the screen shot) that, frankly, still pisses me off.
This is more than a notion…
There’s a host of emotions – along with my reaction – in that part of the comment. I’ve read it countless times. In fact, I waited a day or two before responding (see below). Never heard back, by the way.
When reading the entire comment, it becomes apparent that the commenter does not believe simply reflecting upon the situation or showing concern for those impacted by a disaster is up-to-snuff until one prays about it, or, more accurately, states that one will pray for others. You know, “Thoughts and Prayers…”
In today’s environment, people say “Thoughts and Prayers” much like “How are you?” is used as a greeting. It’s automatic. Almost robotic. There’s no substance behind the phrase. Just something to say, or post, when bad things happen.
What angers me is the comment’s tone. I’m being admonished for not including the word “Pray” in my post. As if that’s an oversight that somehow lessens my concern for others. My intentions judged based on someone else’s standards or ideals.
I simply wanted to express my concern for others. Apparently, that wasn’t good enough.
My Response
Below is my (edited) response, which, at that time, I felt was measured and thoughtful. I never heard back. Now, I don’t really care. I’m venting. Perhaps that’s the first step towards finding peace (for me).
One of the definitions of “thinking” is that of thoughtful reflection. In fact, another definition states that “thinking” (as a verb) is to employ one’s mind rationally and objectively in evaluating or dealing with a given situation. So, I’ll continue “thinking” about those of you in Texas and Florida who are dealing with the aftermath of hurricanes and floods.
I will also continue to hope that everyone’s situation improves and that they do not face long-term problems. I will use my words on MY Facebook feed. You are free to use your words on yours.
Thanks, as always, for listening.
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August 24, 2020 – We lost my Aunt Barbara earlier this month. She died August 4th around one in the morning. According to my family, her cause of death was kidney (renal) failure. Aunt Barbara was in the hospital at the time due to COVID-like symptoms and a possible positive COVID test.
Compounding the sadness over her loss was that she died alone – like so many people right now. That’s heartbreaking, and I feel for all the families whose loved ones have died alone. It’s just not right.
Here’s the link to her current obituary (Barbara Billett Jeffrey). I say current because, right now, everything is subject to change. In addition, I’ll likely update this post in the near future.
Jim Jeffrey, Barbara’s husband, died in December 2013. What I wrote about Uncle Jim back then included my memories of Aunt Barbara. She always took a special interest in her nieces and nephews and doted on our children as well. Here’s an excerpt from what I wrote in 2013:
On Friday, December 20th, my family held a funeral service for my uncle, Jim Jeffrey. Uncle Jim died last Sunday of complications brought on by a host of ailments, primarily the after-effects of chemotherapy and the further onset of Alzheimer’s. Uncle Jim was a unique individual, and the obituary from the funeral home doesn’t due justice to a man who fully embraced the ideal of “following your heart.”
Uncle Jim was married to my dad’s older sister, Barbara. Both were talented musicians who lived for many years in the heart of New York City. Jim fluently spoke several foreign languages, was an accomplished gourmet chef, and a handy-man who could fix or rebuild just about anything – electrical appliances, car engines, refurbed houses. On top of that, he was an opera singer!
There is a lot about my Uncle Jim that I will never know, or certainly won’t remember, but one clear memory of Jim was his singing of Ave Maria at our wedding. Beautiful does not even come close to describing Jim’s performance. Singing at the weddings of nieces and nephews, accompanied, of course, by Aunt Barbara on the organ, became a family tradition that Jim seemed to relish.
We miss Aunt Barbara.
Thanks for listening.
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Wedding Photo: Jim & Barbara. My dad on the far left. |
Note: If you want to leave a comment, just choose “Anonymous” from the Profile Selection drop down bar right below the Comment box. (It’s the very last choice.) Sorry for any confusion.
Also, please make sure you leave your name or sign-in somewhere in your comment. Thanks.
Writer’s Note – I’ll continue to update my blog on a periodic basis. No set schedule. So, I want to thank everyone who continues to stop by and check out my blog. Please leave a comment or message; I’d love to hear from you.