As September comes to a close, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to be feeling.  I have been unable to write as much as I want to, and I have generally felt ambivalent towards everything.  This in spite of feeling physically better over the past two weeks.  In fact, I’ve been unmotivated to do much of anything around the house or on the Internet.  While I get most of my household chores done, I still mess around and feel like I really haven’t accomplished anything.  Job hunting, as well, has become a real slog.  I simply don’t have any get-up-and-go.  Who knows?  Maybe it’s depression…perhaps it’s anticipation of the upcoming scan on October 9th.  Either way, I haven’t felt motivated since before I went to Florida about two weeks ago.

Guess I’m feeling a little “boxed in” by life.

Today’s blog title comes from the Green Day song of the same name.
If you’re familiar with the song, it’s a ballad that tells of the singer’s sadness over the loss of his father (who died of throat cancer) when he was ten-years-old.  Each and every September reminds him of his father’s death.  There’s been some debate about what the song really means.  The music video is about a young couple and the guy joins the Marines and, we assume, goes off to fight in the Middle East.  Some folks think the song has to do with September 11th.

I love the song and the fact that its lyrics have meant different things to many different people.  That’s the power of music and the written word.  To me the song has always seemed so sad, which makes me appreciate its innate power.  I must confess that I get choked up at times by certain songs I hear because of the memories they invoke.

Now that I know the background of this Green Day song, I’ll never think about it the same way.  Personally, I’m glad September is now over.  I feel like I’ve wasted another month of my life.  Frankly, I can’t waste many more months.  Hopefully, I can recover my “mojo” during October.  These lyrics sum up how September went for me –

As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends

 
The journey continues………..

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