Note: If you want to leave a comment, just choose “Anonymous” from the Profile Selection drop down bar right below the Comment box. (It’s the very last choice.) Sorry for any confusion.
Also, please make sure you leave your name or sign-in somewhere in your comment. Thanks.
December 4th – After another eight (8) weeks of treatment, I had a CT scan this afternoon. The results were good: the remaining tumors in my right lung are still very tiny, almost too small to recognize any discernible changes from the previous scan on October 9th. My oncologist said that, for now, I will remain on Gleevec, and in a few months we’ll do another scan to see how I’m doing.
If the tumors remain in-place then it may be necessary for me to have a procedure – similar to my needle biopsy – to remove them. But that is still well off into the immediate future. There will be several consults and scans before any decision is made.
So, why am I not very excited by this news? Why do I feel a sense of melancholy in a prognosis that is mostly positive? Why did I feel as though there was more to learn from today’s analysis? Was I hoping and praying – maybe naively – that my cancer would just “go away.”
Perhaps it was the other part of my doc’s discussion with Vicki and me. The realization, once again, that I have a disease that may never completely go away. Or it may lie dormant for years, then rear its ugly head when I least expect it. He discussed the positives of the current drug: it’s keeping any additional tumors from creeping up in other areas of my body. My cancer, however, may have other mutated versions that might not, or will not, respond to the current treatment. Meaning we would start all over, again. That was one of the negatives we discussed.
Too many unknowns…not a place I like to be in. Yet, three months ago, I wanted to be able to live long enough to see my son, Zach, graduate from high school…to, perhaps, see both of my children graduate from college…Just another 10 years I asked God on more than one occasion. All I wanted was some more time…something all of us – me especially – take for granted. (And I still do!) As I said, I should be happy, but I feel a bit melancholy, right now.
So, the song remains the same…maybe it will change with the new year.
Thanks for listening.
|Hear my song. People won’t you listen now?|