The Grass is Not Always Greener

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Writer’s Note – I’ve been on an extended hiatus for about three months.  So, I first want to say “Thank You” to all of you who continue to stop by and check out my blog.  This blog and several to follow have been accumulating in my head for quite a while.

September 2014 – We return from moving Emily back to college.  It’s hot, I’m tired, and it’s been a very long weekend.  (Plus, I have to go to work in the morning!)  As we pull into the driveway, the first thing I notice is that my almost new grass sod has been given a “buzz cut” by the neighbors.  Needless to say, I was pissed…very pissed.  I threw a plastic lawn chair across the driveway and cussed for about twenty minutes straight.  Yet, I was told in no uncertain terms to “get over it.”  I’ll let you figure out who gave me that feedback.

What have they done?!

It’s not that the grass was “shaved” after I told my neighbors numerous times to let me cut that patch of yard that we share.  It’s not that I spent a lot of time (and money) putting down brand new sod.  It’s that I nurtured that new grass.  Took care of it.  Watered it relentlessly.  Watched it grow and mature…become healthy. Healthy…happy – if grass can be “happy.”  Right now, I’m sensitive to the thought of living things that might die from neglect.  It makes me angry!

Anger….frustration…that’s what I feel right now.  Everything pisses me off.  Little things, big things.  Home things, work things.  Kid things and parent things.  Everything makes me mad.  But I don’t know why… I should be happy, I 
suppose, but I’m not.  I think I’m feeling a combination of uncertainty and stress about my world and those around me:  my mom’s rapidly declining health, my dad’s emotional state, my sister’s never-ending inertia about life, my sister-in-law’s frustration with work, etc., both our kids going off to college, and, oh I don’t know, maybe having a terminal disease.  I know I’ve shared this sentiment with others, before, but being an adult sucks!

No wonder I feel no joy in my life.  I try to be positive, I try to put on a “happy face,” especially for Vicki.  But life just sucks right now.  I hope I can find some peace…and some hope.  I’ve asked for it a few times.  I’m never quite certain that He’s listening.  I guess we’ll just have to see.

The journey continues……..

Epilogue:  My grass did “come back” with lots of TLC and water.  I was also fortunate that we had several days of rain, cloudy skies, and somewhat mild temps.  Maybe that was how my prayers were answered.  Didn’t see much of the neighbors for a couple of weeks.  Guess that was an answer to my prayers as well.