Rocky Mountain Sigh

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Labor Day Weekend 2016 – Vicki and I are in Snowmass, Colorado for the Jazz Aspen Snowmass Labor Day Experience.  We’ve been in Colorado now for two full days, and I just can’t get over how beautiful it is here in the Rocky Mountains.  It’s been at least ten years since we’ve been in Colorado and probably another ten since we’ve been in the mountains.  I’ve nearly forgotten what it’s like to see and experience such beauty!  The clean, crisp air and the gorgeous views from just about anywhere.  It’s incredible!

I’ve been pumped up ever since we arrived.  Even though the altitude and the hiking trails have gotten the better of me, I just can’t get enough of this place.  Yet, at the same time, I feel melancholy deep down inside.  As Vicki sometimes asks when we’re alone at home, “What’s the matter?”  My answers range from “everything” to “nothing” to “I don’t know.”  In this case, it’s definitely everything.

I love it out here!  Absolutely love everything about Colorado in the summer.  But I know it won’t last.  I know we’ll have to leave soon and come back home.  And to be honest, sometimes home is not where my heart is.  It’s been a very weird six months since I retired from the work world.  I’m still not sure where the next part of my journey will lead me, and I’m worried. I’m worried about everything and everyone in my life. I have no control over all these moving pieces and it drives me crazy! One thing that a regular job provided me was a sense of control.  At work, most of the time, I was able to be in some sort of control.  Or I was able to change a situation to become in control.

Top of Elk Camp at 11,000 feet.

Now, I seem to just let everything happen around me.  I try to exert control, but it doesn’t seem to take.  I did a decent job with a writing project in July, but after that I’ve been like a rudderless boat. Just bobbing up and down on the daily waves of life.  What am I supposed to be doing?  Where am I supposed to go?  How do I get there?  And what do I do once I arrive?

So for now, I’ll continue to look at the beauty of Colorado and the Rocky Mountains and sip on a local microbrew. And hope this “Rocky Mountain high” lasts as long as possible after I come down from the mountains.

Thanks, as always, for your time.