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Writer’s Note – I’ve been on an extended hiatus for about three months. So, I first want to say “Thank You” to all of you who continue to stop by and check out my blog. This blog and several to follow have been accumulating in my head for quite a while.
July 15, 2014 – A very happy, happy birthday today to the love of my life! Words cannot even begin to express how much I love my wife. She is absolutely everything to me: my partner, my lover, my best friend, my true confidant…I think the list goes on and on.
It’s because of my all-consuming love for Vicki that my journey alternates between expectation and wonder and total dread. We have been through so much joy, happiness, sorrow, sadness, and frustration that I continue to feel guilty for being sick. Vicki continues to tell me, in that positive way that she does, that I am not “sick” and I’m alive and healthy. It’s one of truly wonderful things about her and our relationship: she’s always looking at the glass as half full, and I, unfortunately, continue to look at the glass as half empty. Although I will admit that her influence on me has made me much more positive and stronger as a person.
So what’s a cancer-ridden old fart like me to do? I know I should continue to feel blessed that my cancer is “under control” and I can live my life without many serious interruptions. But as much as I try to put it out of my mind, I just don’t want to face that day. The day when my diagnosis catches up to me. It’s not fair
to Vicki or the kids or the rest of my family. It just stinks!
In the meantime, I will continue to adore the love of my life and feel truly blessed that
we’re making this journey together. There would be no other way for me to survive it.
Vicki, I love you so much! Just thought you might want to hear it…again.