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Writer’s Note – The following was originally published on one of my other blogs in November 2012.  I thought it might be of interest to those of you who may wonder what it must feel like to deal with the mental aftermath of surgery and the “scars” that remain.

The blog I refer to is called Nice Guys Finish….http://kbniceguysfinish.blogspot.com/

It’s a collection of my thoughts that are introspective, snarky, sometimes highly negative, and – often times – very pitiful.  I recently began to update this blog as a reminder to myself that we all have our hidden side…think Jekyll and Hyde, and while I want people to feel the good my journey will bring to this world, there is still that negative, self-centered “beast” in all of us that yearns to be heard.

November 2, 2012.  Today is the one-year anniversary of my Stage 1, Clark’s Level V melanoma removal from my right upper-back.  Doctors removed about a tennis ball-sized amount of tissue, then had to go back in about a week later to “clean up” the margins.  I had a 3.5 inch by 6 inch skin graft from my thigh to cover the “flap” created by the plastic surgeon.  I’m about fully recovered as far as movement and stamina are concerned.  However, I still get minor aches and pains when I do too much lifting or other activities.  I still can’t seem to exercise as much as I used to, and, unfortunately, swimming is almost completely out. I find that I really don’t care about exercising, except riding my mountain bike.

I will see a plastic surgeon in a few weeks to look at the scar tissue (including what’s left of my “flap”).  He may suggest an additional procedure to improve the “look” of my back.

In February of this year, while still recovering from November’s surgery, I had two (2) in situ melanomas removed – one on my upper cheek, the other on my upper back (on the other side).  Needless to say, this past winter and spring were not pleasant for me or for my family.

I hope and pray that everyone who suffers through this disease continues to get better and gets the best possible treatment.

Unfortunately for me, I feel that every visit to the dermatologist is just another “shoe waiting to drop.”  Some days, I don’t feet like waiting for the “other shoe.”  Oh, well.

Whoopee!