August 24, 2020 – We lost my Aunt Barbara earlier this month. She died August 4th around one in the morning. According to my family, her cause of death was kidney (renal) failure. Aunt Barbara was in the hospital at the time due to COVID-like symptoms and a possible positive COVID test.
Compounding the sadness over her loss was that she died alone – like so many people right now. That’s heartbreaking, and I feel for all the families whose loved ones have died alone. It’s just not right.
Here’s the link to her current obituary (Barbara Billett Jeffrey). I say current because, right now, everything is subject to change. In addition, I’ll likely update this post in the near future.
Jim Jeffrey, Barbara’s husband, died in December 2013. What I wrote about Uncle Jim back then included my memories of Aunt Barbara. She always took a special interest in her nieces and nephews and doted on our children as well. Here’s an excerpt from what I wrote in 2013:
On Friday, December 20th, my family held a funeral service for my uncle, Jim Jeffrey. Uncle Jim died last Sunday of complications brought on by a host of ailments, primarily the after-effects of chemotherapy and the further onset of Alzheimer’s. Uncle Jim was a unique individual, and the obituary from the funeral home doesn’t due justice to a man who fully embraced the ideal of “following your heart.”
Uncle Jim was married to my dad’s older sister, Barbara. Both were talented musicians who lived for many years in the heart of New York City. Jim fluently spoke several foreign languages, was an accomplished gourmet chef, and a handy-man who could fix or rebuild just about anything – electrical appliances, car engines, refurbed houses. On top of that, he was an opera singer!
There is a lot about my Uncle Jim that I will never know, or certainly won’t remember, but one clear memory of Jim was his singing of Ave Maria at our wedding. Beautiful does not even come close to describing Jim’s performance. Singing at the weddings of nieces and nephews, accompanied, of course, by Aunt Barbara on the organ, became a family tradition that Jim seemed to relish.
We miss Aunt Barbara.
Thanks for listening.
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| Wedding Photo: Jim & Barbara. My dad on the far left. |
July 6, 2020 – I finished the last of my scheduled doctor’s appointment this afternoon – annual physical. Everything was fine according to my internist. I’ve been with this same doctor for perhaps 25 years. He knows as much about my health as I do. After last year’s physical he joked, “You’re the healthiest guy with cancer, who had a heart attack, I’ve ever seen.”
Based on the numbers from this year’s blood tests and urinalysis, I hope that comment remains true.
Appointments, Appointments, Appointments
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| At least it’s clean. |
Because of COVID-19, I waited until June to follow-up with most of my doctors. In the past thirty days, I saw just about everyone: cardiologist, urologist, orthopedist, dermatologist, oncologist (we’ll get to that in a moment), and even the dentist (no cavities!). All of these visits we’re either annual checkups, routine appointments, or quickly scheduled due to an issue that came up. I saw my orthopedist after I over did it with exercise, yard work, and pressure washing the back patio.
Note: The patio’s now clean, but I was in some serious back and muscle pain for about a week.
Metastatic Melanoma
In early June I had my scheduled CT scan and doctor’s appointment at the West Cancer Center. As I mentioned previously (see Status Quo and An Early Christmas Gift), I am now scanned about every six (6) months because my tumors remain stable and (for the most part) unchanged. June’s CT results were pretty much the same. Nothing – in my lungs – has changed.
Now For Something Completely Different
There was, however, something completely unexpected on the scan results. A fairly large mass – about 2 1/2 inches – on or around my right adrenal gland. The adrenal gland sits on top of each kidney. The radiology oncologist called it a heterogeneous mainly low density mass. Basically, it looks like I had some internal bleeding either in or around my adrenal gland.
Between chemotherapy meds, blood thinners (to help keep the stent in my heart working), and everything else I’ve been through, it’s hard to know what caused this mass.
Modern-day Torture Device
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| You never know what’s lurking inside. |
My oncologist scheduled an MRI to get a better look. If you’ve never had an MRI, it’s very strange and a bit nerve-racking. The MRI machine is claustrophobic and loud. And weird…I swear I could feel the magnetic force going through my midsection. Yuck!
Unfortunately, the MRI didn’t provide any new clues as to what’s going on inside me. The concern is that this blood mass may be hiding a cancerous tumor (or, the mass was caused by a cancerous tumor). The size has not changed, and I’m not in any pain.
At the end of July, I’ll have another CT scan to see if anything’s changed. Then, the doctors and I will figure out what the next steps will be.
Possibly another twist in my melanoma journey. More to come…
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May 22, 2020 – To say that my birthday (May 20th) helped restore my faith in humanity would be a bit hyperbolic. I would say, however, that the outpouring of well wishes and Happy Birthdays from friends, colleagues, and family meant so much to me. Obviously, I enjoyed the attention, and it left me with some great memories along with a warm feeling deep inside my restless soul.
I posted my thanks on Facebook, but I wanted to mention my thanks here on my blog.
Once again, thanks to everyone for making my birthday special.
I’ll leave you with some of the lyrics to the Beatles Birthday song, which is one of my favorite Beatles’ songs…
May 31, 2020 – It’s been a little more than ten days since my birthday, obviously. I’ve been a bit unmotivated to write and/or complete any blog posts (hence the lag in posting dates). I finished the last two posts for my Corona Blues series (Parts 3 and 4), and, as you can see above, my birthday thank you post. In that ten days, however, our world has become even more surreal, so its understandable that my motivation has been lacking. All I will say is this – as a society we need to come together and figure some things out. I’ve said something similar before, but it really rings true for these past five or six days. We have some terrible problems that are going to continue tearing this country apart.
That’s all, for now…just a small vent.
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May 18, 2020 – Here’s the fourth (and final!) installment in my pictorial journey through self-imposed home quarantine. As I said in my first post (see Part One), I wanted to keep this light with some humor thrown in. These last four weeks, however, have been almost as surreal as the first few days of the pandemic. My somewhat dark mood has given way to anger, just pure anger.
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| I’m so bored! |
When the Walls Come Tumbling Down…
So, May 1st came and people acted as though they had been stuck at home for years…decades, even. As a species, we still have a ways to go on the evolutionary track. I know I’m sick of being at home, but to put your fellow humans – potentially – in harm’s way…it’s sickening (pun intended).
A Month of High and Lows
During a typical May, our family endures an emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows (or, ups and downs) that might cause motion sickness for most folks. The ups and downs started on May 1st – Sam Black’s birthday – and continued on May 2nd with my guest appearance on the Melanoma Research Foundation’s Virtual Miles for Melanoma Opening Ceremony.
There was The Blues Foundation’s virtual Blues Music Awards the following day, then, a week later, there was Mother’s Day – a bittersweet time in our home. At least the weather that weekend was nice and crisp (we even made an outdoor fire).
May also brings back memories of high school and college graduations, along with the end of the school year, which seems to coincide with my birthday on May 20th. (See They Say It’s Your Birthday)
All of this in the midst of a pandemic and a nation that is trying not to dissolve into complete chaos. At that point, we stopped watching the news and tried our best to stay away from the internet. Pretty much impossible to do.
Politicians, Pundits, and People
I’m tired…just plain tired of people…politicians and pundits. Everyone has an opinion and anyone else who disagrees is wrong, just wrong. One group feels their rights are being infringed upon, another group believes those people are reckless and selfish, while others believe this entire “virus thing” is a hoax. To say that people are idiots is to almost understate the problem. We simply don’t care, regardless of our intents, regardless of what we believe or say…bottom-line is – we don’t care. As long as our little self-contained world hums along with no government interference, or pesky intrusions by the neighbors, or whatever…we don’t care.
We are becoming a nation of morons who think only in terms of instant gratification and what can be achieved by crapping all over others. It’s sad…and disgusting. Throw in useless politicians – who only make things worse – and pundits who are simply out for themselves – and its no wonder no one has faith in our societal systems any longer.
Saving Grace(s)
The saving grace for me is that I’m healthy and at home. (Yes, my own little world, thank you.) We have spent a lot of time together, which is wonderful given my health situation. And there are my plants, of course. Always a source of comfort even when they’re a
lot of work. I’ve finished more yard/garden projects this spring than
I’ve finished in the past five years.
So the three pics on the right are definitely my saving graces: good food (compliments of Vicki), gardening, and, as always, beer.
By The Way, Thanks for Asking…
I’ve grown tired of religious folks in this country. As I mentioned in Part 3, I already have a strained relationship with God to begin with. I used the word tenuous – meaning flimsy or weak – and that’s about right. God and I haven’t been on speaking terms in years, especially after Emily’s cancer diagnosis.
I know that runs counter to what most Christians believe…if anything, you’d turn to God in time of need. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work for me any longer. To better understand my frustration with organized religion and with people who claim to be “religious,” you have to understand the distinction I make between religion – which is of men – and spirituality – which is of God, or a higher power.
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| Yeah, I could use a haircut…and a shave. |
I’m tired of people using their “religion” and their religious institutions to judge others and – in the process – cause pain and anguish. Its hypocritical and destructive…and goes against the teachings of that two-thousand-year-old Jewish carpenter from the Galilee.
Matthew 7:2 pretty much sums it up…For with whatever judgment you judge, you will be judged
I’d like people to stop and think the next time they say “We’re praying for you.” Some of these same people post ugly political memes and defend worthless politicians who match their world view. They’re very quick to chime in on a political post, but don’t take time to wish someone a Happy Birthday, or simply ask someone with a chronic condition, or cancer, How’s it going? How are you feeling?
Time to Move to New Zealand
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| An entire country full of sheep! Count me in! |
At one point a few weeks ago, I was so fed up with our country – including places I thought we might end up living after retirement – Colorado, Florida, the Carolinas – that I told Vicki that we’re retiring to New Zealand. Seems the Kiwis have figured out to handle the virus, mass shootings, and runaway Hobbits.
Finally… I’m Still Healing
As you may remember (see Don’t Believe the Gripe), I had another melanoma removed on February 28th. It’s been almost three full months, yet I still have a wound that has to be cleaned and bandaged every day. At this point, I think it will be the end of June before I’m fully healed.
Anyway…thanks for listening. I promise the next post will be a little more positive.
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‘Like Walking in Wet Sand’
It’s been another month of the same old, same old. I saw this quote somewhere on the internet and thought it was appropriate. One day just seems to roll into another. We’re all just trudging along.
It’s the Little Things in Life
Pretty flowers, a cold beer, a good book…it’s the little things that I look forward to nowadays. Yet, I can’t seem to remain happy, or satisfied. I constantly worry about everything and everyone. There’s a definite “lack of control” that for people like me is unsettling and unacceptable. I’m beginning to understand how isolationists feel…stressed, paranoid, not able or willing to think clearly.
The Great Escape
As I first posted on Facebook on April 14th, after more than two weeks at home, I broke quarantine and toured Memphis from the safety of my car. While far from a ghost town, I was taken aback by the empty feel of the city – especially in downtown and Midtown. At the same time, I was surprised by the number of construction workers, city work crews, etc. hard at work like any normal day. Most, if not all of them, had no face coverings at all.
You Gotta Have Faith
My relationship with the Almighty is a tenuous one to say the least. This situation has neither strengthened or diminished that relationship. I honestly don’t understand people of faith who turn their backs on fellow human beings all in the name of politics or a particular way of thinking. I sincerely hoped that our country would figure out some things, maybe even come together. That lasted for about two or three weeks. Now, it’s everyone for themselves and to hell with others.
Easter was particularly troubling. Frankly, I’m not sure what I believe any more. But to paraphrase the late George Michael…You gotta have faith, faith, faith.
Note: As I mentioned in Part Two, I’ll have a longer discussion about people and religion. That will be in Part Four.
Old School Becomes New School
It’s funny how because of work-at-home and safer at home measures – self-quarantining included – old things have become rediscovered, even in our digital age. Pictures of people playing board games, trivia night via Skype or Zoom…people walking, jogging, and bike riding. I’ve seen and met more neighbors in the past two months than have in the past two years.
Folks hanging out on their porches and listening to music. Even sidewalk art has become a cheap, easy time-filler. Reading, even through digital means, has become a popular pastime, once again.
A Green Thumb and Brown Knees
Gardening, too, became a more popular pastime. It’s late April, so around here that means it’s time to work outside in the garden. I finally got out of the house – with the help of my daughter, Emily – to buy plants and such at a local nursery. It was good to be around plants, once again. Zoe even went along for the ride.
Manna From Heaven
After a full day of yard work and gardening, I was exhausted and starving. Meals, like Vicki’s famous spaghetti sauce (as seen on the right) made it all worthwhile. In fact, cooking and eating have become central characters in this weird pandemic teleplay we find ourselves in.
Meals are a combination of our tried and true favorites, or new recipes found online…as long as we can have the right ingredients. In some cases, our meals are simply improvised with whatever’s on hand. Nothing wrong with that and no complaints from me.
Every time Vicki (or, Emily) goes grocery shopping it’s like Christmas when she returns. Oooh, what did we get? Oh, toilet paper! I love it! Did you get any candy? It’s amazing what being holed-up for almost two months does to your expectations.
Advocacy Work Continues
My latest article for Skincancer.net was posted on April 23rd. (Recurring Vigilance) Since that time, it’s been difficult if not impossible for me to write on a consistent (and focused) basis. That’s one reason this post is more than a month after its date.
Hopefully I’ll soon get back on-track.
For now, thanks and stay safe.
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